Unstable Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5


Zhou Mi woke up sick the next morning. He had apparently been fighting a cold and had not bothered telling anybody, so now he was fully sick. Geng had helped me move him up from the floor to the bed, and I was put in charge of his patients, which doubled my workload since Geng was busy being a nurse for him. I wasn't really bothered by taking his patients for a few days since I wanted to be helpful, but there was just one person I was nervous about.

Siwon. He terrified me. Geng had warned me my first day that I shouldn't feed him if I was by myself, but since he was busy and Zhou Mi was sick, I had no choice. So when lunch time rolled around, I saved him for last, even feeding Heebum first, so that I could think of a way to do it safely. I sat against the wall in front of his door for a long time, holding the box with his food in it tightly in my fingers, staring at the metal slot. When the answer came to me I felt really stupid for not thinking of it earlier. It was so obvious.

Leaning forward to lay on my stomach, I army crawled forward until I was at the metal slot, holding the food underneath me safely as I tapped on the metal panel lightly. "Comrade! I've come to bring you rations!" I hissed, acting as if I was a soldier.

There was a rustling noise from the other side of the door until the slot popped open and I saw a set of rock hard brown eyes. "Are you a South Korean soldier?" He whispered secretively.

I nodded and looked around, pretending. "Yes! I'm undercover, I infiltrated their base to find a way to take them down from the inside!"

His face lit up. "I'm a Lieutenant back in the south, they caught me when I was weak! I will help you as best as I can from in here!" He held up his hand, but it was too big to slid through the slot. I cautiously slid my hand in instead and shook his. "Give me the rations boy, and get away before they suspect."

I nodded and pushed the box in, closing the slot carefully. "Yes sir!" I whispered. Once I heard him move back to his fort, I picked myself up and  scooted back until I was once again leaning against the wall, thrilled that my crazy idea had worked.

"That was incredible." A voice breathed from down the hall. I looked over to see Geng standing with Yesung, gaping at me like I was some sort of alien or whatever.

"What was?" I asked, getting to my feet and brushing myself off before walking over to join them.

"No one has ever been able to feed him so easily, let alone shake his hand!" Yesung answered for him, his eyes wide as he stared at me. "How did you do it?"

I shrugged. "I just indulged him. Everybody here tells him that he's crazy and that the war is over, so he is angry because he thinks you're trying to brainwash him. If you act like he's right, he feels more willing to be friendly." They stared at me for a moment longer, disbelief coloring their faces.

Geng finally spoke up. "You're amazing Henry Lau." He laughed, clapping me forcefully on the back and knocking the wind out of me. Yesung made his escape, wandering off to find Wookie, and Geng walked with me back towards Zhou Mi's room. "It's your turn to take care of him, I'll watch the ward for the rest of the day."

I nodded and walked off down the hall alone, sighing and rubbing the back of my neck. Zhou Mi had been right of course. After sleeping on the compress the pain had gone away, leaving behind that confusing feeling and the reminder that I was his "cute little brother." I frowned as I stopped outside the door, collecting myself before I went in.

Zhou Mi had certainly looked better. He was sitting with his head propped up on a few pillows, the blanket covering up to his stomach, and his hands kept clenching and unclenching in discomfort. His skin was pale and slick with a thin layer of sweat, and his usually perfect hair was tousled beyond help. His eyes were watery and his nose was red from wiping and blowing it. He looked over when the door opened and smiled sleepily. "Henry, hey. How are you doing?" He croaked, sniffling.

"Better than you, that's for sure." I replied, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Why didn't you tell me you hadn't been feeling well? You could've slept in the bed and me on the floor." I asked softly. I reached over into the bowl of water and wrung out the rag that was in there, using it to gently wipe his brow.

He chuckled weakly. "I don't want you to worry about me." He breathed, closing his eyes as I brushed his hair back to wipe his forehead and rest the cloth there. "Ahh that's nice..." He murmured. "It's so hot in here, the cold water is a Godsend." I blushed at his face since he couldn't see me due to his closed eyes.

Even though he looked and felt so sick, I still thought he was handsome. I loved how sexy his face looked when his cheeks were flushed and his eyes closed softly, his hair brushed back away from his face. I watched as a tiny drop of sweat rolled down his chin to his neck, disappearing over his collarbone and into his shirt. I gulped as inappropriate thoughts raced through my head.

Suddenly Zhou Mi opened his eyes and smiled at me, snapping me back to reality. "If I remember correctly, you brought a guitar back with you when you and Geng came back from your old place." He rasped, his breath heavy. "Could you play something for me?"

I blinked. I had nearly forgotten the guitar. "I'm not very good at it." I sighed, looking over at said instrument in the corner. "It was my appa's thing. He always wanted me to learn like him." I shrugged it off and smiled down at him.

"Do you not like it?"

I shook my head. "I prefer the violin, which my umma helped me learn." I looked out the window thoughtfully. "She always understood me better than my father..."

Zhou Mi watched me silently. "So your appa gave you the guitar in hopes you would be more motivated to learn?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Jonghyun gave me the guitar."

He blinked. "Why?"

I blinked as well. "I don't know, it was a birthday gift."

"No, I mean why didn't he give you a violin if that's what you like?" He asked. I didn't have an answer to that at first. "I mean, if you two dated for so long how did he not know that you preferred the violin?"

I looked over at the guitar again. "I guess he never paid me any attention." I whispered, feeling sad again. "Now that I think about it, he definitely knew. Not only had I told him, but my umma had too." I wiped my eyes with my hand, sighing. Zhou Mi sat up, with much difficulty and ignoring my protests, and hugged me tightly despite his weakened state.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." He said, stroking my hair. "I didn't mean to make you sad." I shook my head and pulled away, not saying anything as I gently forced him to lay back down. Without a word, I stood and retrieved the guitar from its case, coming back to sit on the bed. "You don't have to play if you don't want to!" Zhou Mi fretted, but I shushed him, strumming once to make sure it was in tune, closing my eyes.

One thing I had learned about string instruments was to feel it. Both my parents had told me that a great musician was one who treated the instrument like an extension of the soul. It sounds awful and cheesy, but I always believed it. That's why I never liked the guitar. It was too big a bulky to be an extension of the soul. Plus, it was kind of an ugly instrument, regardless of the beautiful music it produced.

But a violin...a violin was a work of art. It was small, and elegant, and the beautiful curves of the wood that made up its delicate shape just made me smile. But when I had grown out of my childhood violin that I had learned on, my father didn't let me buy another. He made me switch to guitar, despite what I wanted and despite what my mother said. So I had to learn to think of the huge, hulking guitar as a part of my soul. Which proved impossible, which pissed my appa off to no end. I was never able to play the guitar with enough emotion, because I didn't enjoy it.

But, this was for Zhou Mi. This was special. So, for the man I loved, I chose a melody that was like him. Soft, light, tender, warm. Pure happiness. I closed my eyes and smiled, picturing Zhou Mi in my head like when I first saw him. Surrounded by light, and just oozing affection and kindness. I poured how I felt about him into my hands, desperately trying to convey my feelings through the tune. When the song ended, I smiled and let the guitar relax on my knees, leaning over it with both my arms and peered shyly over at Zhou Mi. He was smiling radiantly at me, his eyes glowing.

"That was beautiful Henry." He told me, resting his hands over his stomach peacefully.

"I haven't played in a long time." I responded, looking down at the instrument. "But I've never been very good."

He scoffed. "Well, if that was 'not very good,' then I would love to hear you play excellently." I looked over at him, smiling sheepishly. "What was that song called?" He asked.

"It's just something I remember from when I first started learning to play."

"It was beautiful." He murmured, sitting up a bit more so we could talk easier. "It makes me feel calm and happy."

I thought about my next words for a split second before I said them. "It's how you make me feel." I whispered, not looking at him. I was too afraid to make eye contact so I just stood up and returned the guitar to its place.

"You make me feel that way too Henry." He replied, clueless. I turned to look at him and forced a smile, knowing he didn't mean it like I did. I knew he didn't think of me in a romantic way.

"Feel better, okay Mimi?" I said softly, wondering how he would take to the endearment.

His reaction was nice. He smiled at me, making me feel a tiny bit better. "I'll try." He assured me, closing his eyes. I left him there to sleep peacefully, making sure to put all the patients to bed before I returned to the room. Wookie was a bit restless, he was positive that my goal was to play with him instead of making him go to sleep. When I finally got him asleep, I made my way through the now dark halls of the ward back to mine and Zhou Mi's room.

Zhou Mi was just as I left him, sleeping, looking amazing despite his sickly appearance. Sighing, I walked over and opened up the wardrobe to grab some sweats and a tank top. I was just starting to unbutton my jeans and take them off when I remembered that Zhou Mi was still there. I turned quickly, making sure he was asleep. Once I was absolutely sure he was out cold, I dropped my pants on the floor and stepped out of them, leaving them there as I pulled the sweats on. Stifling a yawn, I tugged off my shirt and tossed it over with my pants before slipping the tank top on and collapsing on the floor where Zhou Mi usually slept.

I looked up at the figure on the bed, staring dreamily at the silhouette made possible by the moonlight streaming in. My eyes slid from the sculpted brow down past the nose to the perfect, slightly moistened lips. Hardly thinking, I sat up and walked over to the bedside on my knees, placing my arms on the bed and resting my chin on them. After staring at him for a few more minutes, I leaned over and looked down at his face, contemplating my next move for a split second before tossing reason out the window and kissing him.

It wasn't drawn out because I was afraid he would wake up and freak out, or romantic because his lips were a little chapped from being sick, or lively for that matter since he was unconscious. But it was the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced. No kiss with any other human being had ever made me feel anywhere near as good as this one did. I found myself wishing that he would wake up and kiss back.

I pulled away barely a second after I touched my lips to his, my face bright red and burning with shyness. Without another word or thought, I threw myself down on the floor and pulled the blanket up over my head, my back to the bed. I couldn't hold back the joy.

~ ~ ~

I couldn't say I was surprised the next morning when I woke up with a fever. Zhou Mi, of course, was fine because his had broken during the night, and he generously took on my work while I rested in bed. I sighed, annoyed that I wasn't allowed to get up and help out. But Zhou Mi had made it very clear that I was not to move, even though I was not as sick as he had been. Around noon, Kangin and Wookie wandered into my room Wookie looked concerned. Kangin, not so much.

"Henry!" Wookie cried, rushing to my bedside and kneeled, his bunny's ears falling onto the bed. "How did you...get sick too?!"

Because of my fever-flushed cheeks he couldn't see me blush. "I don't know, maybe it's because I slept where he's been sleeping." Wookie continued to fuss over me, saying that he would scold Zhou Mi for infecting me with his germs, while Kangin sat cross-legged on the floor, watching me with an amused expression.

"I know." He said smugly, catching both of our attentions. "It's obvious that you were getting...too close to Zhou Mi last night." He waggled his eyebrows at me and I frowned, but my ears turning red gave me away.

"You and Zhou Mi...are sleeping together?!" Wookie gasped a little too loudly.

I shushed him immediately. "No, Wookie, he's lying!" I glared at the perverse man on the floor. "I am NOT sleeping with him. We are friends, and that is it."

"But you want to be more." Kangin asked, but it sounded more like a statement.

I opened my mouth to protest, but just sighed instead. "Yes, yes I do." Wookie looked like he wanted to interrupt, but refrained with difficulty. "But he says I'm 'the cute little brother he never had.' He doesn't like me the way I like him." I lowered my head to look at my hands.

Wookie pouted and patted my knee affectionately. "I'm sure there's...a reason he said that. How could he...not like someone...like you?" He insisted.

I shrugged helplessly. "I don't think so, I'm not that wonderful. Besides, I'm happy just being close to him like this, it's good enough for me."

"It's only good enough...for so long. Believe me...I know." Wookie said sadly.

"Or you could just lock him in here and force yourself on him." Kangin interjected. "It always works for me."

I glared at him. "Yes, but you are a rapist and Eeteuk is the perfect victim because he likes it and you know it." He flashed a somewhat charming grin at me and I frowned even more. "Plus, you don't have a problem with taking advantage of him and using him for sex."

Kangin's cocky grin finally fell at my words. "Just because I love sex doesn't mean I don't love him. Eeteuk is my everything, and believe me, I know how it sounds. But it's true. If I hadn't of met him, I would prey on every warm body in this place, including yours. But after meeting him, the thought of touching someone else disgusts me." Kangin stood up and made his way to the door. Just as he was leaving, he seemed to have a thought. He turned around and gave me a stern, but friendly stare. "But like I said, sex always works." And then he left, sporting a rather predatory grin, and I knew Eeteuk was in trouble when Kangin found him.

Wookie and I sat there for a moment, speechless. "Well..." I finally said, Wookie turning to look at me expectantly. "I don't know what I'm going to do with that advice."

He shrugged shyly, playing with his bunny's ears. "I don't agree...with his methods." He murmured. "But...he's right." I stared at him in surprise. "Sex...always works."